Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Ladies' Home Depot
It's around 3:00 on Saturday afternoon and Keith and I just got home from the beach. The Sox/Yankees game is about to come on, it's Mob Week on AMC and it's cloudy--perfect time to mix up a cocktail and relax on the couch. So I text my sister-in-law for her famous and delicious recipe for summer beer. (It's 4 beers, 1 cup of vodka and 1 can of frozen lemonade, btw.) No sooner do I pour two frosty beer mugs full of the mixture, does my sweetheart announce he's making a trip to Lowes. To look at microwaves. Not purchase, he's just going to look. "Drive safe, hunny," I say, and the next thing I know I'm sitting on the couch in my bathrobe drinking summer beer, alone, and watching The Godfather Part II, hosted by Rudy Gulliani.
What follows is a text exchange with SIL:
Me: Keith just went to Lowes, now I'm drinking alone...in my bathrobe. Don't tell my Godson!
SIL: LOL Derek was at Lowes earlier.
Me: I think our husbands have girlfriends at Lowes.
SIL: Lowes/Home Depot are the guys version of the mall. Derek could spend hours there.
After we chatted a little longer, I threw a load of laundry in and as I sipped from my summer beer, I thought more about the ladies version of Lowes. I thought of a million, trillion stores I could spend hours in: Home Goods being a major contender in the time suck category. And then I felt a little bit bad about moaning and groaning every time Keith's dragged me to Home Depot. He's only got two stores that turn him on, while I can shop the Miracle Mile for a solid 12-hours and not even have to stop for a snack break.
Then I remembered while we were wedding planning and I had to make endless stops at Michael's for frames, baskets, stamps, ink, tissue paper, shopping bags, pillar candles, etc., etc., etc., etc. I've never heard someone bellyache more. In fact, I'm sure our future children will whine less than my husband did about having to run into the local craft store so I could purchase a specific item. (Please re-direct your attention to the top of this post where I mention that Keith goes to Lowes to browse. Isn't that what the Internet is for?)
If marriage is all about sacrifice than I can stomach a few thousand trips to Home Depot to look at tile, kitchen sinks, 2x4's, paint, paint brushes, painters tape, dishwashers, etc., etc., etc., etc. And I think my husband can bite his tongue the next time I need a picture frame. (Although, if you ask him, I've got so many, I'll never need another picture frame as long as I live. That's a direct quote.)
And because I like to include something useful in these posts, I urge every wife to visit the true Ladies' Home Depot: Shop Sweet Lulu, an online shop for all the pretty things you need to entertain. I'm smitten with the vintage milk jugs and the adorable cupcake liners (pictured above). The best part, ladies, it's an online shop so you can spent hours there and your husband can't complain. I suggest you make a big pitcher of summer beer and kiss you husband before he heads to Lowes before you take out the credit card and start doing some damage!