Friday, October 28, 2011

My Family: The Details That Matter!

Ah, Friday! We meet again. You're like a bad boyfriend who never returns my calls. But I just keep taking you back. I'll always love you, Friday.

Let's get real. I've been following all this chatter about the importance wedding bloggers place on details. I think Abby Larson said it best here. And I agree, mason jars may get tired to a wedding professional, but they are brand new to a bride. So let's keep doin' what we do, and remember that there are other things that matter, too. You know who's done a great job keeping it real on her blog, The Knotty Bride. In this post, she teaches us what really matters at a wedding. I'm trying to act like I didn't get caught up in the details. But I distinctly remember very forcefully, and perhaps with a few off color verbs, telling my brother that the theme of my wedding was "Vintage Elegance" and if he didn't shave that day, he'd ruin everything. But, wait, it get's better. He traveled all the way from Germany, WHERE HE WAS SERVING IN THE UNITED STATES ARMY, to attend my New England wedding. And I was giving him grief about his beard? Someone call the casting department, I think we have a Bridezilla on our hands.

You'll be happy to hear that I chilled out, my brother DID shave before the big day so as not to ruin any of the elegance and as soon as the wedding week rolled around I stopped giving a crap about the details and just focused on my family, Keith's family and all our awesome friends who were taking days off from work and flying in from all over to be with us. Here's some of the details from our wedding that will forever out-do the flowers and vintage glassware.

1. Remember my brother who was serving in Germany at the time of our wedding. Well he high-tailed in to Connecticut for our wedding on what was his last break before he deployed to Afghanistan. I stressed during the planning that he would not be able to make it at all, and it was such a relief when he purchased his tickets. And I made him sit next to me at our reception just to make sure we had more time together.

2. You probably think it's weird that I sat next to my brother at my wedding reception. But I sat next to my new husband, too, because we had a family table instead of a head table.That was a really important detail to us and I'm glad we insisted on it.

Family photo by Cynthia Brown Studio

3. A few days before our wedding we got together with Keith's family (including his brother and sister-in-law and their kids) to remember his father who passed away three years ago. We stood under his favorite tree in the yard and scattered his ashes. He was with us that night, and that feeling of his presence stuck with us through Saturday. I remember sitting in the church and watching the light shine through the stained glass windows and thinking that it was Keith's dad shining his love down on us. My very next thought was this, "I don't care what happens the rest of the day. This is my favorite part of our wedding."

 Keith's dad made the best pizza and passed his cooking skills down to his son!

My pretty nieces and sister-in-law drove all the way from St. Louis for the wedding! 

4. Another very special wedding guest was my great uncle Nippy. Yes, his name is Nippy and he's as cool as he sounds. He's my grandfather's youngest brother and has always been a huge part of our lives. We asked him to attend our rehearsal dinner, which also happened to be his 80th birthday. His presence meant so much because my Nono and Grammy were not there. And I know he was proud and honored to be included. Uncle Nippy passed away last Friday and we all miss him so much. I can't believe that he won't be eating Thanksgiving dinner with us this year. But I'll never, ever forget the huge presence he had at our wedding.

Uncle Nip & Ellie!

5. We were married by my parents close friend Jim. Jim baptized my brother and I, he said the funeral masses for three of my grandparents and he married my parents over 30 years ago! But that's not all, Keith and I said our vows in the same place that his mother and father were wed. And that, my friends, is the best wedding detail there is.

Photo by Cynthia Brown Studio

I loved the flowers, my dress (which cost too much to be considered a detail) and my shoes. I loved the cake stands my mom and I collected for a year. And I loved how my stationery incorporated three beautiful patterns instead of just one. But when I talk about my wedding to my children they won't care about that stuff. My decor will probably be dated (but I doubt it) and my dress might be out of style. I'm sure they'll laugh at how we look, the same way I make fun of my dad's mustache in his wedding photos. But those five details above will be the things I'm proud of, and the things I hope my children will consider when they plan their own weddings.

Am I right? Or am I right? Spill the beans. What will your important details be?


  1. Oh, this is my favorite post! You are VERY right. Since our January wedding, we have lost one wedding guest who was our dear family friend & we have another wedding guest who is battling cancer. We look back on our wedding day & the best gift of all was our family & friends' presence. We'll cherish those memories forever!

  2. Libby, I love this post. The pictures of Phil made me cry!

  3. I loved everything about your wedding, and I loved everything about this post! Love, Aly

  4. I love this post too. I am so sorry for your loss hun. And it was very clear throughout the whole event that family was the number one at your wedding. You let the shine through beautifully.

  5. Hi Elizabeth (Libby),

    Thank you so much for those kind words about my dad! He was a great guy and a great dad too! He really had an awesome time at your wedding and felt honored to be at your wedding rehersal dinner. He loved you and Phil and I always got updated from him when I chatted with my dad on the phone.
    Love Dean